Communication is Key

**Allow me to preface this post with the statement that these are my communication techniques and while I may think they are super, they may not work for everyone because not everyone is me, and well, that's probably a good thing. Nevertheless, the blog must go on:

Communication is one of the most important aspects of leadership and of life. Though people often think of verbal communication as the most important type, communication comes in many forms and it is often the non-verbal communication that is more powerful than the spoken or written word. Communicating with an individual can be very different from communicating with a group. It is more intimate and what is said and acted out has more meaning because it is all directed at one person. When trying to communicate with an individual, one should:

1. Have positive body language

They way you position yourself when talking to another person says a lot more than what you verbally communicate to them. It is important to be aware of your body language. Unless it is freezing outside or you would like to convey that you have no interest in talking to a person, do not cross your arms.

2. Listen

Communication is a two-way street. You have to listen to the other person to appropriately address the issue at hand. If you want others to listen to you, you need to listen to them as well.

3. Be Direct

It is important to be honest and clear with what you are telling someone. Whether you are directing them in a leadership position or having a casual conversation, saying what you mean (in a polite way) is just the easiest way to get things done. Yay for efficient speaking.

4. Gesture! *waves arms*

Okay so this is more of a personal mode of communication, but I find that when I'm saying something I'm either a) very passionate about, b) not quite sure how to put into words, or c) don't even really understand myself, I use my hands to accompany my voice. Obviously it is not good to be obnoxious and fail your arms every two seconds, but, I mean, if you REALLY need to get a point across then gesturing wildly will surely get someone's attention.

5. Use Your Words

People do not automatically know what you are thinking. It's a common misconception that many people have. Luckily, the fix is simple: tell people. Let people know how you feel or what you want to get done. This kind of goes along with being direct and against gesturing, but just imagine if someone stood facing you, listening to what you had to say, responding in a direct, clear, eloquent way while casually motioning their hand to enforce what they had to say. I say that's brilliant! (as I face you and clasp my hands in victory)

When communicating with a group, I use different communication skills because it is a different environment. Honestly, dealing with a large group of people can be difficult because in group settings, many people do not refer to my guide #2 above. I'm not a misanthrope, I'm just saying people tend to do what they want instead of listening to authority sometimes. So when address a group of people (especially in a leadership position) one must react accordingly. When trying to communicate with a group, one should:

1. Be loud, but not obnoxious

Being a rather quiet person, I realize that being loud is a gift that should be cherished, but also a curse when trying to tell secrets (but secrets don't make friends right?). It is important that people hear you when you are giving instructions so finding someway to make yourself loud enough to be heard is important. On that same note, yelling and/or screeching at people is both obnoxious and annoying and may lead to mutiny. If you are a pirate.

2. Make yourself be seen

Obviously when communicating with a group, it is important that they see you in order to listen to you. If you are fun size rather than like 10'8 maybe get a box to stand on... or a stage... or have the group make a circle and stand in the middle so they have no choice but to look at you. Really though, when you can see the person who is talking to you, you tend to pay more attention.

3. Be Direct

Woohoo! A repeat. Refer to #3 above.

4. Allow people to ask questions

Your directions to a group may be painstakingly clear. You may have been standing on a stage, speaking into a microphone, saying specifically and detailed-ly what you want to be done. Despite your best efforts, there are people who will have spaced out and have no idea what you just said. Therefore it is a good idea to ask the group to raise their hands if they have any questions or need any clarifications. Sometimes people just like the chance to hear themselves talk too. It's okay, we all want to be heard.

5. Be Friendly

This may be the introvert in me but working with big groups can be tiring and wear your spirit so it is important to remember to be friendly! People respond much better to a smiling face than a sullen eye roll. It's also a good idea to be friendly in general because when you are nice to others you often feel better about yourself.

Another type of communication that I feel is effective, but maybe not as socially acceptable or comfortable is if I want people to do something, I just do it first. Kind of like leading by example, except less noble. Say people are standing awkwardly in a circle at a gathering when there are couches right there and nobody wants to make the first move. I would simply slowly migrate (or just walk straight over) and sit down. Being the awkward first person to do something is sometimes intimidating, but it is oh so effective and ultimately shows that you are a team player. 

Again I would like to say that these tips do not apply to everyone. Some people are naturally good at working with groups and some are uncannily remarkable at holding one-on-one conversations. These are just some ideas, springboards if you will for better communication. Because after all, communication is key.

Note:

I definitely did no research on proper communication for this blog, this is all from personal experience.

I would also like to apologize for my horrendous misuse of "one" and "you," one should simply not switch between the third and second person... That means you!

And forget first person... 

This I Believe

Part 1:

The Serenity to Change the Things I Can

Mark Olmsted - Hollywood, California

I believe in picking up trash.

I’ve always hated litter; in fact, I once walked out in the middle of a date because my companion threw a wrapper on the sidewalk. In my opinion, littering is the most preventable and stupid of the world’s sins, and all the more infuriating because it has no proponents. For example, though I am also against corporal punishment, there are people who would readily argue that it is a useful and necessary form of discipline. But no one ever defends littering—even the people who do it.

Yet I am not one to throw stones. For the first several years of this millennium, I was a drug addict who sold crystal meth to support my habit. My buying and selling undoubtedly contributed to a lot of toxic waste created by meth labs. After nine months of prison and a commitment to sobriety, I felt I had to make amends.

After moving to a working class neighborhood in Los Angeles, my first reaction to the trash-filled streets was to say a well-known prayer: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” As I walked my dog every day, I thought the litter was something I just had to accept. After all, what was I supposed to do? Pick it up?

The thought was like a pebble in my shoe. Try as I might I just couldn’t shake it loose.

So one day, I decided to do just that: Pick it up. In a leap of faith, I went down to Home Depot, bought myself an E-Z Reacher, and started plucking the empty cigarette packs, soda cans, fast food packaging, coffee containers, newspapers, styrofoam cups, and just about anything you can think of into plastic grocery bags. For over five years now, I have filled at least four bags every morning, one for each block of my dog-walking route. Sometimes, I do it again on different streets in the afternoon, especially if I’m having a bad day.

I believe in picking up trash because it’s taught me that you can’t assume to know the difference between the things you must accept and the things that you can change—you have to think about it. It’s taught me to question the premise of all sorts of assumptions I had previously made, from the idea that the only possible reaction to traffic is anger and frustration, to the belief that I was a hopeless addict who couldn’t possibly get clean.

Every morning, picking up trash is my answer to the questions: How can I be of service today? What do I have the courage to change? And every night, no matter how much the day didn’t seem to go my way, I can fall asleep counting the bags of trash I’ve picked up, comforted that in this lifetime I’ve been able to find one thing to do that’s unarguably, unambiguously good.

Mark Olmsted is a former drug addict who undertook keeping his neighborhood clean as part of his recovery regimen. He lectures on "The Six Spiritual Principles of Picking Up Trash" from his base in Hollywood, California, where he still picks bags of litter a day. His website is trashwhisperer.com.

http://thisibelieve.org/essay/39990/

I really connect with Mark Olmsted's essay about changing something he does not like in the world. Olmsted saw something he disliked and instead of complaining about it and sitting and watching it happen, he decided to try to change it. I think it is important to do something about what we think is wrong in the world. Olmsted decided to become proactive in an issue that he had once himself helped create. He shows that you do not have to be wealthy or some kind of superhero to make a difference in the world. If you care enough about a problem, then it is your responsibility to try and make it right in whatever way you can. Though Olmsted cannot pick up all the litter in the world, his simple action of picking up trash in his neighborhood has had a ripple effect. He is the epitome of thinking globally and acting locally.

Part 2:

What Brings Us Together

Emily Fayram

I believe everybody should be a Green Bay Packers’ fan. My reasoning for this belief has little to do with sports. Green Bay, Wisconsin is a town with a population of 105,809 people. It is home to the only publicly-owned team in the National Football League, the Packers. Although the Packers come from a small town, they have millions of fans worldwide. I’ve grown up a Packers’ fan and realize that it means so much more than favoring a football team: it is being a community.

Whenever I wear my bright yellow Packers’ shirt, I meet a lot of people. Whether it is a fellow fan wearing the same logo or a random man in the grocery market, strangers who share a love for the Packers make conversation or say a polite “hello” or “go Pack!” Similarly, whenever I see someone sporting the green and gold “G” I smile at them and treat them like family. The Packers bring together groups of otherwise very different people to create a diverse community. When you realize someone is passionate about what you are passionate about it is easy to establish a bond.

Being part of a community means giving and working together. The team has a unique relationship with its fans. For over fifty years, players have been riding young fans’ bikes from the training facility across the street to Lambeau Field where they practice. The players often sign autographs for the kids after. The Packers have no official cheerleaders, rather they have cheer squads from local high schools and colleges come lead the already exuberant crowd. Additionally, when it snows before a game, the Lambeau Field staff has to turn away volunteers to shovel snow off the seats. This is true community, working together for a common purpose.

Packers’ fans are not fair-weather fans; I will always be a cheesehead. This mentality is the glue that bonds the community. In a community, you have to cooperate to be successful. Packers’ fans support each other. Whether our team is losing or winning we stay together and cheer until the end. We lift each other up in losses and celebrate in victories. Communities need resiliency and determination through the good times and bad.

Webster’s Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary defines community as “people with common interests living in a particular area,” but I believe it goes beyond that. To me, community is a group of people that work together and support each other no matter where they are. I believe in community and the ability to work together, yet be completely different. I believe that simplicity pulls people together more than complex ideas. I believe people can find similarities through their differences. I believe people can be brought together by even a trivial common interest. It is easy to love and support someone who shares your passion, for that reason; I believe everybody in the world should be a Packers’ fan.

Respect

http://www.nfl.com/videos/auto/0ap2000000133351/Donald-Driver-s-new-job

This video clip does not give the full character of Donald Driver, but I chose it anyway because it exemplifies what congruence means to me. I value, loyalty, respect, hard work, happiness, and compassion and Donald Driver has embodied these values throughout his career. From working hard to earn records on the Green Bay Packers, to giving back through his various charities, to living it up on Dancing with the Stars, to finally retiring a Green Bay Packer through and through, Donald Driver has lived out these tenets. He looks positively into the future without forgetting his past. What struck me most is when Driver said that the only way he would ever consider coming out of retirement is if his team called him up and needed him. He has stayed loyal to what gave him a start. His loyalty stems from his respect for the team, the managers, and the fans. Donald Driver puts the idea of respect into action. He respects the community that surrounds the team and is willing to put his team before himself.

When we had to choose our top five values, eventually throwing out four to get to our number one value, my last value was respect. I think that loyalty, honesty, kindness, and many other important values stem from respect because if you respect people you will treat them well. Donald Driver has a lot of respect for his community as can be seen in this video and other articles and videos about him.

Like Driver, I respect others for who they are. I try not to be judgmental, but instead accept that people are different from me, and that is a good thing.  I remain loyal to my friends and family, and I am honest to those around me. I also try to take advantage of opportunities and put a positive spin on life like Donald Driver. We should all be like Donald Driver and Aretha Franklin and have a little more R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

Copyright http://www.voxxi.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/Donald-Driver.jpg